Builder or Breaker

Sitting there on a grassy embankment, mosquitoes and horseflies attacking my salt encrusted skin. My legs feeling like blood and muscles have been replaced by fast set cement. Nausea, waves of nausea. Empty…just plain empty.

Those were just some of the feelings running through my mind and body when the above image was captured. I was, as is clear to see in the picture, a mere 2km from the summit of what many would consider a ‘bucket list’ climb, the rather imposing Col du Galibier. After 28 odd km of going up I was so close to the end, yet there I sat on the side of the road feeling rather finished. Many of you may have experienced this ‘wall’, not a fun place to be.

As I sat there on the side of the road riding the waves of nausea interrupted sporadically by a splash of self pity a strange thing started to happen.

This post is not however about the effects of such a climb instead this article is a description of the lessons that were presented to me in that moment. That’s what cycling is to me, a way to not only stay physically fit but also a way to regularly exercise one’s conscious and unconscious mind. I choose to see lessons or learning experiences whenever or wherever I might find myself. The lessons on this particular day were numerous and I may have to revisit this all again in another post. But for now I want to concentrate on one lesson or rather a realisation.

As I sat there on the side of the road riding the waves of nausea interrupted sporadically by a splash of self pity a strange thing started to happen. For some seemingly unknown reason I felt myself starting to sense something, something resembling positivity. That’s right, amongst these waves of Nausea, these whirlpools of self-doubt, a little sailboat of positivity was bravely taking on the maelstrom before it.

Now I know this all sounds very dramatic but I can assure you, sitting on the side of the road at high altitude, suffering from exhaustion all while wearing lycra can take a man to a dark place! Ok, so back to that upwelling of positivity. Being the famous climb that it was and a weekend, there were naturally a large amount of other riders attempting to conquer Galibier that day. The fact that these robots were still upright and riding past me clearly indicated a level of preparation beyond my comprehension (or they had just remembered to eat and drink properly) but that aside there was something about these fellow lycra clad gradient warriors. Almost without fail as each rider rode past me they would take a moment to look over and pass some words of encouragement my way. They knew exactly what it took to get that far up the mountain and they pictured themselves on the side of the road that close to the finish and imagined what it would feel like. One by one they would sail past — “Allez”, “Andiamo”, “Come on mate nearly there” and with each word of encouragement I felt the will inside me growing. I think deep down I knew that I was not going to give up, I had come too far. I was going to get back on my bike and finish those final 2 km to the top, which I did…eventually.

If I am honest it was not until I was laying in my bed that evening that the effects of those other rider’s words and the realisations of the days experience truly washed over me. I realised that in life there are people that break you down and there are people who build you up. You know the kind I mean, some breakers are like energy vampires, they seem to drain you, they always seem to have negative things to say…glass half empty. Then you have the builders, the people that their mere presence is enough to energise you, when you are around them you feel as if you can take on anything. Its almost as if you feel lighter because in a way you are — these people are lifting you up. Take those folk on the mountainside that day, we shared a common goal, a common struggle and in doing so our energies and ideals were aligned even if only for a moment. In that moment we were in it together…in that moment they were my builders.

The moral of the story? Well, it might not be as obvious as you think. Sure we must surround ourselves with people that build us up instead of breaking us down, that’s the easy part to figure out. But surprise surprise life doesn’t always work like that and sometimes we may feel like we don’t have a choice, that we are ‘stuck’ with these negative influences . Ahh but those who know me well know that I believe there is ALWAYS a choice. In the case where we find ourselves surrounded by a breaker, try instead to find a lesson in the situation. Is there something in this person that reminds you of yourself or someone else close to you? Perhaps seeing this ‘breaker’ behaviour from another angle can better help you understand yourself or a loved one or a colleague at work. Make the choice to rather use the situation as a learning experience, an opportunity to practice patience, an opportunity for growth.

So I leave you with this. The next time you are stuck in the presence of a ‘breaker’, instead of feeling trapped, instead of feeling frustrated , choose another way. Rather choose compassion, choose to be grateful for the experience presented to you. Choose to be a builder!

Remember, everything in life is a choice, your choice.

So #choosetoride.